To my brother Sirius
by The-stuttering-kiwi
Summary: For the tumblr blog Imagine-the100-loki-potter, "What if before Voldemort killed Regulus Black, he had written a letter to Sirius, apologizing for how he was treated in the family and for all the things he did as a death eater. But he never got to send it."


To my brother Sirius,

I know this letter will come as a surprise to you, perhaps just as much as I am surprised to be sitting here writing it. I don't think I will be for this earth much longer, as I am about to do something I am not even sure can be done. But, I am sure your Order of the Phoenix will hear of that soon enough, as I plan to send another letter off to the great Albus Dumbledore.

I had a few things I wanted to say to you, and my only hope is that I am able to get these thoughts from my brain onto this piece of parchment.

I am sorry.

I know that is a strange thing to hear coming from your own family, especially from someone like me, a death eater, but it's true. I think since the day I was born I had been jealous of you. You never fit in with the family, and that always overshadowed great things I did or could have done. I know during our time at school our parents always paraded my achievements and rubbed your nose in them. But I highly doubt that they ever took a moment to truly be proud of me, and I was angry with you for that. Not only at home but at school, you were so incredibly popular…had girls fawning over you, and of course, you were in Gryffindor. The bane of any decent Slytherins existence.

The only bright light came was when you ran away from home to live with the great James Potter, and mother blasted your face off of the family tree, just like aunt Andromeda. From that point on she never spoke about you, and I thought my time had finally come. Mother actually had a party after my graduation from Hogwarts and I joined the death eaters. But in the back of my insecure mind, I always knew she wished you were still around to rub your nose in it.

Being a death eater was…great and thrilling for the first few years. I truly believed in what we were doing. Wizards ruling over muggles and muggle-borns. I rose through the ranks quicker than I had thought possible. But then I feel like I hit the ceiling.

I got in close with the Dark Lord. Closer than even his most trusted death eaters ever hoped to be. I know things that he has done…things that would turn your hair white. And if I am right about this…about what I am going to do…it is only a matter of time before the Dark Lord meets his match, he will finally be able to be defeated.

I don't believe in this line of purebloods being the only right to living, and muggle borns being lower than dirt. That somehow they steal magic. How can they possibly believe that a child would even be possible of stealing something that we all should know, is born with us. We are given this, our magic, and no one can take that away from us.

I am sorry that I did not see you as brave for getting out of this family, but as true as the house you were sorted into, you are the bravest man I know. And I am proud to have you as my brother.

I know my death will come as a blow to mother, despite her hatred to you, losing you was a blow as well, and I think this might actually kill her. Please don't think badly of her after she is gone. She is a foolish old woman, who won't have the time to change her ways. When I am gone, and mother as well…Kreacher will fall to you. I know it will be hard to forgive him as well, but he and generations of his family were born into these beliefs, the beliefs of his masters. Please know that he is helping me in what I must do now. I think with a little patience he will prove to be just as loyal to you as he was to mother and me.

I am sorry Sirius. For always being jealous of you, for becoming what you hated most about this family, for becoming a death eater, for having a hand in countless of your friends deaths. I hope you believe from the bottom of my heart that I truly regret everything I have done. And I am sorry that I will never know if you will ever truly forgive me. I can only do this on the hope that one day you can.

With the hope that one day the Dark Lord meets his match.

Regulus Black.


End file.
